


Lawfully Unwedded

by xyliane



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But Not Fake Relationship, Established Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Fluff Throughout The Years, Killua meets a chocolate fondue fountain, M/M, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xyliane/pseuds/xyliane
Summary: They get married fourteen times. Well, they never get officially married—there’s never any paperwork filled out, and after the third time, most people are convinced it’s just an excuse for them to have a massive party and invite all their friends. They’re not wrong. (Knuckle cries every single time.)





	Lawfully Unwedded

The first wedding is an accident. Well, mostly. It isn’t planned, it isn’t intentional, and it never is an actual wedding. In fact, neither Gon or Killua realizes anyone would take it as anything more than a joke, not with the obvious ridiculousness of Aiai City and Greed Island providing the backdrop for an image sent to Alluka.

Their now-regular meet up with Leorio proves their judgment to be slightly flawed.

“What do you mean you got married?” Leorio demands, half of the people trying to eat their lunch at this restaurant spinning at the noise. “You’re seventeen!”

“I’m eighteen, Killua’s seventeen,” Gon says. “A summer wedding is always nice, right?”

Leorio attempts to pull his hair out, knocking his glasses askew. “ _You can’t get married at seventeen!_ ”

“Age of consent here is sixteen, Leorio! I wouldn’t even need Aunt Mito to sign for anything.”

Killua rolls his eyes to try to pretend he’s not blushing. “We didn’t actually get married,” he says. “There wasn’t any paperwork, it was just some asshole in a stupid hat that wanted pictures. I don’t think anything on Greed Island is really all that legal, anyways.”

Leorio brandishes his phone, said picture zoomed in to the point of being pixelated and blurry but not disguising the glimmer of rings on their fingers. “Then what are _those_?”

Gon grins and digs out a square of rumpled gold foil from his pocket. “Chocolate rings,” he says. “The photographer gave them to us as payment for helping with his project. Killua ate both of them.”

His boyfriend—partner—husband— _best friend_ chokes on air. “You kept that?”

“Well, of course!” Gon says, a far too innocent glimmer in his eyes. “It was our first wedding, after all.”

“ _First_?” Leorio and Killua say, Leorio still trying to wrap his head around his friends and wedding being in the same sentence, and Killua with a look of oddly enthusiastic dismay.

Killua takes Gon’s hands, pale thumbs drawing circles across the callouses on his knuckles. “You know, we don’t have to get married, right?” he says, cheeks turning pink. “I don’t…you know. It’s not important to me.”

“But _you’re_ important to me.” Gon presses a kiss to Killua’s cheek, smile widening in direct correlation to how red Killua turns. “Do you wanna get married? I’d rather do whatever you want, Killua.”

If they weren’t almost sickeningly adorable, Leorio would throttle these two kids. _Kids_. “Are you two getting married or not?”

The two teenagers exchange a look Leorio can’t read, and Killua shakes his head. “Not now,” he says slowly, eyes still on his best friend, who smiles.

Gon adds, “We have our whole lives, right? We can live them together however we want. It’s more fun that way.”

Killua just about bursts into flames, and Leorio can’t bring himself to be annoyed anymore. That they love each other is nothing new. They deserve each other. But some amount of revenge is worthwhile. “Well, if you’re both so intent on this. It’s time someone told you about sex.”

Both boys squawk and try to flounder out of their seats as Leorio brings up a set of diagrams on his phone, a smile growing on his face that is not at all evil or the result of years’ worth of vengeance for his friends being reckless idiots. “First off, condoms.”

The resulting screeches get them all kicked out of the restaurant.

—

The second wedding is more complicated. 

Leorio’s interrogation-turned-sex-talk (a conversation Killua vehemently insists never happened and makes Gon turn curiously silent whenever it’s brought up) is only the tip of the iceberg once Alluka “accidentally” sends the photo to her brother’s friends. While funny for the first few weeks, it gets frustrating to have to explain to every single person they know that, no, they’re not married, no they don’t have plans to get married anytime soon if at all, and for fuck’s sake Knuckle please stop crying, it’s embarrassing to everyone.

Which is most of the reason they’ve ended up in front of a flowered archway and a brightly colored canopy, forcibly cleaned and shoved into matching tuxes before being physically deposited in front of what feels like hundreds of their friends and family. Judging by the quantity and quality of baked goods, Killua suspects Palm as having a heavy hand in the proceedings, and Gon can easily identify Zepile’s handiwork in the eclectic but well-made decorations around the garden.

For some reason, it’s Morel who’s been enlisted as the officiant. The only thing preventing him from openly sobbing are his sunglasses.

Both Gon and Killua glance at each other, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. The only reason they haven’t bolted is because no one’s given them a proper explanation, and Killua refuses to leave without sampling the massive chocolate fondue fountain visible all the way from the other side of the garden. Gon says, “Thanks for all of this, Morel, but…”

“This is bullshit. We aren’t married. We’re not getting married,” Killua says. He grabs onto Gon’s hand as a lifeline, and Gon latches on just as tightly.

Morel sniffs and wipes his eyes. “I had a feeling,” he says, voice stuck in his nose, and waves to a few people from the crowd.

Alluka, Palm, and Knuckle are led up to the front by a bemused Leorio. “I tried to tell them this was a bad idea,” Leorio says.

Palm scowls, the gem on her forehead glinting in the sunlight. “What do you mean, a bad idea? Do you see how many people are here for these two? How many people helped us put this all together?”

Knuckle is in a similar state as Morel, eyes watering and nose running but lacking any sunglasses to hide behind. He manages to say, “No shit, Palm. It’s Gon and Killua! Alluka asked, and how could we say no? These punks deserve the wedding of a lifetime, and that means people show up for it.”

This makes both of the not-quite-grooms flush. “But we’re not getting married,” Gon says as gently as he can.

“If we were getting married, we’d decide on it,” Killua snaps. He’s been taller than Knuckle for a few years now, and it’s still weird to glare down at him. Glaring down at Alluka is only weird because of how betrayed he feels. She beams sunnily back at him, an expression that wouldn’t look out of place on Gon, reflected by the beads in her hair like a halo of grins. “Alluka, what the hell were you thinking?”

Knuckle swipes at his head, enhanced open-handed slap severely messing up Killua’s slicked-back white curls. “Don’t talk to your sister like that!”

“Fuck off, asshole!”

Before they can start actually fighting, Morel steps between them with a placid smile on his face, earning glares from everyone. “Miss Zoldyck?”

The girl in question casually brushes off her skirts, a flurry of lace and colors that bring out her eyes. “Yes, Morel?”

“Why are Killua and Gon getting married?”

Her smile widens. “For the party, of course!” she says.

The entire wedding party, attendees and grooms alike, seem to pause. “The…party?” Leorio asks into dead silence.

Alluka looks entirely pleased with herself. Her _selves_ , more like, because Killua would eat his rented tux if Nanika isn’t also involved in this mess. “I know Brother and Gon aren’t getting married,” she says. “But they didn’t have a party the last time they didn’t get married, and Brother keeps forgetting about his birthday, so I thought this would be a good way to make up for that.”

Killua’s mouth open and closes without any noise coming out.

“And I couldn’t rent the chocolate fondue fountain without having a party,” she adds.

Gon makes a noise that might be choked laughter or might be a frog being tossed into a pond.

“Can we still celebrate them getting not married?” Ikalgo calls from the front row. He’s wearing a top hat, a blue rose tucked into the band for the occasion. Some of the people around him echo his call, clapping and whooping from the crowd.

Alluka peers up at Leorio through her lashes, a smirk on her face that looks far too much like her brother for Leorio’s comfort. Killua’s still somewhat in shock, so Leorio just shrugs. “Sure, why not,” he says.

Morel clears his throat. “I think I have the final say on this?” he says.

Gon and Killua stand straight as though electrified. “We’re not—” Gon starts.

Morel taps his pipe on the ground twice, the sound echoing like a gavel and silencing the entire garden. “I am happy to pronounce you not married,” he says solemnly. “You may now kiss each other or however you would like to celebrate.”

Gon grins brightly and before Killua can think to object, dips his best friend into a kiss. Killua makes a muffled protest against his lips, the sound lost to the cheer erupting from the crowd.

Morel and Knuckle burst into identical sobs, as do Bisky, Palm, and Zepile. If Killua had noticed, he would have yelled at them for being saps. But he’s preoccupied.

Gon pulls Killua back to his feet, both of them a little breathless. “Ready for this?” he asks.

Killua nods seriously. “Chocolate first,” he says, and drags Gon out of the canopy.

—

Wedding three features a second attempt at the chocolate fountain. It goes about as disastrously as at the second wedding, although Gon manages to rescue Killua early enough that no one is injured this time. Alluka rules that there is to be no more fondue until _certain people_  can control themselves.

—

The fourth wedding isn’t supposed to be a wedding. It is supposed to be a party for Killua, though. Killua and his daughter Inedal.

It’s the only thing Aunt Mito’s asked in exchange for her help with the adoption process, that she and the rest of Whale Island be allowed to celebrate the adoption as well. From what Gon understands, between what Aunt Mito tells him and Killua doesn’t, Killua showing up on the island with a five year old blonde girl hanging onto his arm is much less worrisome now that any attempted assassins sent after Killua and Inedal met with an unexpected thunderstorm over open water. That there were assassins at all has more to do with who Inedal was, but Killua refuses to give her up, and Gon gets the feeling that Inedal refuses to leave just as fiercely. 

Gon’s here because Killua asked. He’s not comfortable with any of this–with having a kid, with Killua having a kid, with being anything close to a dad. But Killua asked, for Gon to be here and for Gon to help, not as a dad but as Gon, and for Killua, Gon will try.

It’s not like Gon’s good at turning down Killua if it’s something he wants. Killua asks for so little, it’s the least Gon can offer to say yes.

Aunt Mito takes advantage of Gon’s presence to make him in charge of carting all of the massive tables and platters down to the beach, helping the sailors and handiworkers and whoever else Aunt Mito’s bribed or wrangled into the job. The party is in full swing by the time Gon is able to sit down for food, wolfing down what might be four people’s worth of fish and rice before pausing long enough to take a breath.

People from all over the island are coming up to congratulate Killua and Inedal, small things from unfamiliar faces just here for the food and drink and massive baskets of chocolates and sweets from old friends that recognize Killua from the first time he came to the island, twelve and nervous about visiting his best friend’s home. But people also keep coming up to congratulate Killua and _Gon._  And by the time Nui the woodcarver drops off a fruit basket with a wink and vanishes before Gon can ask what’s going on, it is becoming clearer and clearer that this has nothing to do with any adoption process.

Inedal looks between the two of them, the growing pile of gifts, and then back at Aunt Mito. Her mouth opens in a little “o” of comprehension. “I thought this was my party,” she says.

“Well, it is, sweetie, for you and your dad,” Aunt Mito says. Gon’s close enough to his best friend that he can feel Killua vibrate at the sound of being called Inedal’s dad, especially by someone like Aunt Mito. She’d know if someone weren’t a good enough parent, and she knows Killua is more than good enough. There isn’t much Gon can add to that, so he laces their fingers together and squeezes.

Inedal shakes her head, pigtails bouncing arrhythmically. “But it’s their party too, right? They’re getting married.”

Gon and Killua nearly knock over the table in shock, Nui’s basket tumbling into the sand. 

“No, Inedal, we’re not…”

“Fu–Godda–Inedal how the he–heck did you get that from this?”

“The nice ladies selling sweets in the fish market were talking about how it was ‘damn time someone made an honest man out of little Mito’s kid,’ and that means marriage.” Gon does his best not to choke on air, but Aunt Mito suddenly develops a coughing fit. The little girl crosses her arms in front of her chest, legs planted and chin set with a stubbornness that is identical to Killua’s in intent if not expression. “Old man, you’re too old to get married. You’re almost eighty!”

Somewhere in the world, Gon’s sure that Leorio is laughing.

Killua strangles what sounds like a half-dozen curses in the back of his throat. “I’m twenty-five!” he screeches. “Gon’s older than me! How many times have I told you that?”

“Then why’s your hair white?” she asks. Gon bites his lip to try to keep from cackling as Killua’s face starts turning purple in a mix of betrayal, amusement, and mortification. Inedal glances at Gon through errant strands of blonde hair. “Sorry, Gon, I don’t know if you noticed. You’re too cool to see stupid things like that. I don’t know why you’re marrying this geezer.”

Killua doesn’t actually try to throttle his newly adopted daughter, but it’s a near thing. Nor does it help that the elder that runs the pharmacy and her grandchildren in the government office get wind of the “wedding” from the ladies at the fish market. Both Priya and Mata are wholly unapologetic, and they gift Gon and Killua with massive rings of flowers despite (or maybe because) of their vehement insistence that they are not and have not been and will not for the foreseeable future be getting married. Before the end of the night the party has sprawled into an unintended but not unwelcome celebration for Gon and Killua’s lack of desire to get married, the whole island turning out for dancing and a feast. If Aunt Mito gets a little teary eyed, Gon pretends to not notice.

Killua dances with Inedal almost half a dozen times, spinning her across the dirt with a smile on his face so bright it makes Gon’s chest hurt. The girl laughs, pigtails askew and flowers scattering out of where they’d been tucked behind her ears or in one of her hairties, and Killua looks like he’s flying with his feet still on the ground.

Killua dances with Gon twice, and neither of them step on each other’s toes. The second time, Gon reaches up to kiss his best friend, and it’s almost impossible to hear the music over the cheer and the blood rushing in his ears. Inedal promptly pries her dad away, informing Gon that he’s cool and all, but gross.

Shortly after, Gon is taking a break from dancing and singing and fending off well-wishers when Killua dumps a giggling Inedal onto him. “She wants to dance with you. She won’t ask, and I’m the adult so I guess I have to,” he says, face flushed and voice sounding almost drunk with laughter, happier than Gon’s heard in years.

So Gon takes her and flips her in the air, relishing how she giggles on the way down as both Killua and Aunt Mito protest, with varying levels of amusement and annoyance, that this isn’t _dancing_. 

Killua passes out before sunrise, not waking even when Gon carries him back to Aunt Mito’s and tucks him into bed. Inedal, who insists on walking back with her hand tucked into one of Gon’s, doesn’t resist when Gon clumsily loads her into the bed next to Killua. She passes out almost instantly, snuggling into Killua’s side.

Gon kisses Killua on the forehead and, after a moment’s hesitation, gives Inedal the same. 

—

The sixth wedding is cancelled because Fen gets sick. Fen’s only been with Killua for a few months, but it’s enough to decide that Pa is an appropriate term for the adult-shaped person in charge of food and welfare when he’s not training a pack of students the fine art of punching each other in the face, and that Gon is an excellent jungle gym with ample protection from Pa’s wrath. But for all Fen’s enthusiasm, and Inedal’s well-intentioned but ill-practiced attempts at healing-via-chocolate, his illness just won’t go away, and neither Gon or Killua have gotten any sleep in days. It’s not until Alluka and Kurapika show up, boxes of not-wedding gifts in hand, that anyone remembers there had been something planned for the weekend other than a sick child. This turns out to be something of a stroke of luck, because the wedding party is coming in town anyways and all of them are more than happy to keep an eye on a nauseous but rambunctious seven year old who is already starting to take after his Pa in using his cuteness for chocolate.

Gon and Killua are sent to the honeymoon suite as a “wedding present” even without the wedding, a move Killua protests because it’s _his_ kid that’s sick, _he_ should be taking care of him. Not that it works when he’s physically carted off to the hotel by Bisky, Gon not even bothering to hide how hard he laughs. They spend the entire weekend sleeping, playing video games, and eating pancakes, enjoying the arsenal of pillows in a bed as big as their bedroom for a knock-down, drag-out war that is interrupted briefly when they get a call from the front desk asking if two pro Hunters could help them with a thief. 

It’s a good weekend.

—

By the time their ninth wedding rolls around, some years after the Hunters-only party-turned-miniature-war of the seventh wedding and the relatively tiny dinner that made up the eighth, Killua doesn’t so much have kids he’s adopted as ducklings that’ve followed him home, mingling with his trainees and eating all of his chocolate. Dura and Lu, he found in the fighting rings in Begerose, twins in desperate need of a sensei and attaching to him like leeches. Ari, Mevera, Fen—sometimes they just hang onto him like monkeys, giggling as the static in his aura shocks them and stands their hair on end. And there’s Inedal, who’s been with him since he didn’t even know he could be a dad, who’s his and he’s as protective of her as she lets him be.

All of them love him, and he loves them just as fiercely.

What he doesn’t expect, months after the last time he sees Gon and burying the all too familiar ache of loneliness beneath work and training and the kids, is his oldest to use all of her admittedly formidable skills to kidnap him in his sleep and deposit him in front of an altar, a tux and rings and everything already at hand.

“Old man, I know you have a _thing_ about getting married,” Inedal says, a look on her face that says that the _thing_ could be either how much he never wants to be married or a _thing_ that she never wants to consider her dad doing with his partner. Killua, older and more knowledgeable than she ever will be, merely raises an eyebrow and tries to ignore how he’s standing at an altar in his boxers.

She sighs. “Look, the twins found out you got married before but it didn’t count, and they told the rest of the trainees, and now they all want to watch. And I knew if I asked Gon, he’d say to ask you, and you’d say no. So I kind of. Planned a surprise wedding.”

Killua’s eyebrow arches up even higher. So that’s what she’d been sneaking around with the trainees for. Sure enough, he can feel their auras flickering nervously in and out of zetsu from the foyer. He feels an odd burst of pride. It seems like she’s wrangled all of his students plus his kids, a skill Killua himself doesn’t have most days. But as their trainer, there are some things he can’t just let slide. Sloppiness is one of them. “Four hundred extra push ups for everyone outside!” he calls, and Fen curses loudly. “Now, dumbasses, or you’re running laps for the next three hours!”

“It’s a surprise to me too,” says a voice that might as well be electricity and sunshine and home all bound up together. Killua turns to face his best friend, who’s covered in something that might be the insides of a swamprat hive, who scoops up Killua in a bear hug before he can protest.

He gives himself a moment to relish this, to rest his forehead against Gon’s and breathe. “I missed you,” he says in a tone that means _I love you_.

“I missed you, too, Killua.” Gon chuckles, the rumbling felt straight through Killua’s chest. “You should probably put pants on, though.”

Right. That. He takes another deep breath, then turns back to Inedal. “You didn’t kidnap him in the middle of the night, did you?”

She stares defiantly back at him. “Gon’s too cool for that, geezer. I just told him you’d meet him here now that he’s done with work for a bit.”

Killua stares at Gon, who goes a little red. “You just believed her?” he says.

“I didn’t think there was any reason not to!”

Killua flicks him in the forehead, because they might be nearly in their forties but Gon is still an idiot. Killua loves him because of that, sometimes. “Have you already forgotten the mint wire incident? Or the thing with the cheese foam?”

Inedal huffs, arms crossed over her chest and shoulders hunched inward. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? It’s not like I get to see my dad happy all that often, and I thought this would. Be okay.”

Any semblance of irritation Killua is still feeling dissipates with the words _my dad_. He extracts himself from Gon to place a hand on his daughter’s shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “It’s okay,” he says. His voice sounds oddly stuffy to his own ears. “It’s more than okay.”

She smiles hesitantly and hugs him, arms tight around his waist. He hugs her back as best he can. It doesn’t last long—he understands all too well not wanting to deal with emotions at seventeen, even if it was a lifetime ago—but it’s more than enough. She says, “You don’t have to get for real married. Knuckle offered to officiate—something about having called dibs last time? He knows you two are weirdos.”

That earns a laugh from both men. “He’s weirder than both of us put together,” Killua says.

“It’s not so bad. And I get to see you all dressed up,” Gon says, trailing a warm hand down Killua’s back, nails scratching at his muscles. He grins lazily and stretches a little at the touch.

Inedal makes a face like she’s bitten into a lime and found prune juice. “Gross,” she says, and Gon laughs because she sounds exactly like Killua. So Killua reaches back to ruffle Gon’s hair, grimacing at the swamp sludge coating his hand.

“You _are_ gross. I’m not not-marrying you if you’ve got bog juice up your nose.” He wipes his hand on Gon’s jacket, which only makes the mess worse. But it gives him an idea. “You need a shower.”

Gon looks wholly too innocent at that suggestion, especially compared to what his hand’s doing. “Probably,” he says. “You know where we can find one?”

“I have some ideas.”

“Ialsoinvitedallyourfriendsthey’llbeheretonightbye,” Inedal says in a loud voice, and flees for the door before Killua can attempt to throttle his daughter who he loves very much and who certainly does not have a death wish.

(The wedding goes off without a hitch, the problem kind or the actual-marriage kind. Gon showers and Killua does not actually get married in his boxers. He pretends to get cold feet at the last minute, so Dura and Lu take it upon themselves to physically drag him up to the altar, where Gon’s laughing so hard he falls over. Knuckle doesn’t get through the vows because he starts crying again, which sets both Bisky and Leorio off, and Killua can’t get Gon to stop laughing long enough to make these idiots stop sobbing. Under the direction of Inedal, Killua’s kids uniformly declare this a resounding failure to get their dad Actually Married and go off to the party.)

—

“Hey, Killua.”

Gon’s brown skin has wrinkles, laugh lines so deep they might as well be canyons carved next to his eyes. Killua traces them as gently as he can, ignoring how his hands ache with old scars, content to simply lie on their bed counting the stars they can see out the window. “Hmm?”

“Do you wanna get married?”

He hasn’t heard this question in years. “That would be, what, our fourteenth wedding? Fifteenth?” he says. “Why, do you?”

Gon’s laugh is still the same it’s been since he was twelve, loud and carefree even with the weight of decades that have turned his hair almost entirely white. “Not really,” he says. He catches Killua’s hands with his own, bringing knuckles to his lips. Brown eyes dance as he asks, “Do you, Killua?”

Killua smiles. “Nah. I’m happy with us.”

“Me too.”

“But we should have a party anyways. I’m sure if we pretend we’re actually getting married, Alluka will rent that chocolate fondue fountain again.”

They should be too old for a pillow fight, but Gon smacks him with a pillow anyways. Some things never change.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy belated birthday wuzzy!!! This is your fault.
> 
> I'm going to, very slowly, get around to editing and reposting the stuff I have on tumblr here. In the meantime, [my tumblr (and copious backlog) is here!](https://xyliane.tumblr.com)


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